
The Psychological Burden of Being an Unwanted Girl
Introduction
In patriarchal societies like Pakistan, the preference for male offspring significantly impacts the societal status and emotional well-being of female children. This gender bias fosters systemic discrimination, leading to feelings of being unwanted among girls. The following sections explore the implications of this preference on family planning, societal norms, and the broader context of gendered violence.[1] Emotionally, these girls may internalize feelings of rejection and unworthiness, which can manifest as low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Psychologically, constant devaluation can hinder their cognitive and emotional development, leading to difficulties in forming secure relationships and pursuing personal ambitions.[2] Statistically, Pakistan exhibits significant gender disparities. The country ranks 145 out of 146 on the Global Gender Gap Report 2022, highlighting pervasive inequality.[3] Gender discrimination in Pakistan is deeply entrenched, manifesting in various forms such as restricted access to education, healthcare, and economic opportunities for women. This systemic inequality is perpetuated by cultural norms, legal inadequacies, and socio-economic barriers, which collectively hinder women’s empowerment and limit their potential.[4, 5] The cumulative effect of being unwanted permeates every aspect of a girl’s life, from family dynamics to societal interactions, perpetuating a cycle of marginalization. Addressing this issue requires a multifaceted approach, including policy reforms, public awareness campaigns, and educational initiatives to challenge deep-seated patriarchal norms and promote gender equality.[5]
The hidden psychological cost of being an “unwanted” girl extends far beyond childhood, shaping self-worth, emotional resilience, and mental health. Childhood trauma, including emotional abuse, significantly affects mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and chronic illness in adulthood.[6] Emotional abuse, particularly in cultures with rigid gender roles, can distort self-concept and diminish resilience among girls.[7] This issue demands global attention as it perpetuates cycles of poverty, inequality, and psychological trauma. Intervention through policy reforms, education, and awareness campaigns is essential to dismantle patriarchal norms and ensure that every girl is valued, empowered, and given equal opportunities.
The Psychological and Neurological Impact on child mental health
Early-life trauma, including rejection and neglect, significantly disrupts brain development and is linked to various mental health issues. Research indicates that approximately 40.5% of children under the age of 9 have experienced at least one traumatic event, which can lead to long-lasting psychological effects. [8, 9] Neuroimaging studies reveal that such trauma can adversely affect brain structures, impacting cognitive and emotional functions. Additionally, individuals with histories of childhood abuse are more likely to exhibit submissive behaviors in adulthood. A case study involving a child subjected to early abuse highlighted significant challenges in affecting regulation and interpersonal relationships, underscoring the profound impact of early trauma on behavior and mental health. [10]
The Cultural and Social Context in Pakistan
In Pakistan, cultural and social norms significantly favor sons over daughters, leading to pronounced disparities in various life aspects Sons are traditionally viewed as providers, reinforcing the notion that they carry the family legacy Daughters are often seen as economic liabilities, particularly due to the dowry system, which places financial burdens on their families.[11] Inheritance laws and practices further perpetuate this bias. Despite Islamic laws granting inheritance rights to women, cultural practices often deny them these entitlements, consolidating wealth and property within male lineage. This economic marginalization reinforces the perception of daughters as less valuable. [12, 13] Educational disparities also stem from this son’s preference. Families with limited resources often prioritize sons’ education over daughters’, limiting girls’ future opportunities and perpetuating gender inequality. This educational neglect hampers women’s empowerment and maintains their subordinate societal status. [14]
Moreover, women who give birth to daughters face increased vulnerability to domestic violence. Studies indicate that 41% of pregnant women reported experiencing domestic violence, with verbal or emotional abuse being the most common. This abuse is often linked to the societal devaluation of female offspring, placing undue blame on mothers. [15, 16]
Global Perspectives on Unwanted child and Recommendation
Globally, countries have implemented various policies to address gender-based parental neglect, focusing on legal reforms, societal norms, and support systems. According to a WHO fact sheet, up to 1 billion children aged 2–17 years have experienced violence or neglect in the past year. To combat this, 88% of countries have established laws to protect children from violence; however, only 47% report strong enforcement of these laws. Parenting support policies aimed at reducing child-directed violence have been mapped globally, indicating varying levels of implementation and effectiveness. [17] Additionally, the Global Database on Violence against Women provides up-to-date information on measures taken by governments to address different forms of violence against women, highlighting legislative measures and support services. These efforts collectively aim to mitigate gender-based parental neglect and promote child welfare. [18]
Pakistan must adopt strict child protection laws ensuring gender-equal rights, backed by effective enforcement mechanisms. Amending inheritance laws to guarantee daughters’ property rights and implementing conditional cash transfers for girls’ education can reduce neglect. NGOs and international bodies like UNICEF and Human Rights Watch should strengthen child welfare programs. Pakistan must ratify global child protection treaties and enforce gender-sensitive policies. Media campaigns should challenge son preference and promote female empowerment. Schools must integrate gender equity education to reshape societal attitudes. A multi-sectoral approach combining policy, legal reform, education, and awareness is crucial to breaking gender-based neglect. [19, 20]

The pic was taken in Remote village of Pakistan by Irshad ullah and her friend A. Bibi
References
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- Jamal, B., et al., Addressing Gender Disparities in Education: Empowering Girls Through Education in Pakistan. Russian Law Journal, 2023. 11(12S): p. 15–25.