A few months ago, I had a misunderstanding with a colleague over my situation-exile. This person was close, so close to a point that I had shared every step of my struggle with them. They had offered solidarity and support from the word go. But the mention of the word exile sparked a different reaction. This dear friend tried to ‘talk me out’ of my exile situation. They said that I was in self-imposed exile, that I was exaggerating my situation, that there was danger, but it wasn’t as serious as I depicted it, that I was just burning bridges for no reason, that I was just paranoid, etc.  

At first, I took everything they said as a joke. We usually threw dark humour around. On the other hand, my friend was serious. I reminded him that no one ever wakes up and says, “Oh, I feel like going to exile this week.” No one does that. He then made comparisons between my work and his. His main point was that he was also doing “risky activism” but he hadn’t seen the danger that made me flee the country. To that I replied by pointing out the privileges he had over me and all hell broke loose. My dear friend called me insensitive. He said I was harsh to him. I couldn’t believe seeing the person who was trying to invalidate my struggle now playing victim. I knew there and then that people have different interpretations of exile. But not for long though!! We are all potential candidates for exile and displacement. Whether it is self-imposed or not, you never can tell, especially now with the increasing authoritarianism across the globe. The civic space is shrinking at a worryingly fast pace.

A few months after that regrettable heated exchange, my friend was on the run too. It is alleged that he received threats over certain posts he had made. Voila!! I sighed. I then sent a message of solidarity and encouragement to my dear friend. I welcomed him to the other side of being on the run. Our conversations took a different turn from that moment. The small troll in me itched to use his exact words on him but empathy won the day. It is sad that it took him serious threats for him to finally come around. I do not blame him though. There are many people out there who have similar views or even worse.

Why am I sharing this story? It has taken so long for me to finally start writing and sharing about exile. At first, I felt ashamed and scared of even mentioning it. I can’t explain why I felt that way. However, one thing remains certain. There is always a price to pay for challenging the status quo. Any demand for accountability is usually interpreted as a threat and hence treated as one. We are all prone to displacement/exile and this should make us grow stronger in agitating for justice and freedom(s).

Annah Ashaba